By focusing on and modeling a few easy tips, you can build resilience in your child—and bolster it within yourself—by concentrating on and sporting a few easy tips!
Practice Optimism
Believe it or not, optimism isn’t just a mindset; it’s a skill fueled by grit and determination! With a bit of modeling from trusted grown-ups and a lot of practice, kids can learn to approach life through a hopeful lens.
Adults can:
Save the doomsday talk for kid-free moments of venting with other grown-ups. Set an optimistic example for kids by stating positive thinking and language aloud even when life is challenging.
Start a daily gratitude practice as a family to help everyone focus on finding silver linings in any circumstance. Start like this: “Tell me three good things about your day.”
Promote Healthy Risk-Taking
In a world where playgrounds are made “safe” with bouncy floor materials and helicopter parenting, it’s essential to encourage kids to take healthy risks. What’s a healthy risk? Something that pushes a child to go outside of their comfort zone but results in very little harm if they are unsuccessful. Examples include:
Trying a new sport.
Participating in the school play.
Striking up a conversation with a shy peer.
When kids avoid risk, they internalize the message that they aren’t strong enough to handle challenges. When kids embrace risks, they learn to push themselves.
Resist the Urge to Fix It and Ask Questions Instead
When kids come to their parents to solve their problems, the natural response is to lecture or explain. A better strategy is to ask questions. By bouncing the problem back to the child with questions, the parent helps the child think through the issue and develop solutions.
Help them manage their emotions.
Emotional management is key to resilience. Teach your kids that all emotions are OK, Lyons said. It’s OK to feel angry that you lost the game or someone else finished your ice cream. Teach them that after feeling their feelings, they need to think about what they’re doing next.
If your child throws a tantrum, please be sure to be clear about what behavior is appropriate (and inappropriate). You might say, “I’m sorry we’re not going to get ice cream, but this behavior is unacceptable.”